Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
