I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
