I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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