when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
