Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
