I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
