So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
