You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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