doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
