My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
