What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
