i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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