Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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