Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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