# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
