Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
