we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
