Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
