My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
