drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
