we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize