Do vagina's smell?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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