from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
