sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
