I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
