there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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