It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
