I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
