I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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