so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
