i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
