Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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