On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
