Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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