So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
