Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
