We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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