you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
