Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
