i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
