you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
