just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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