He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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