Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
