I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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