I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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