are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
