I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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