his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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