...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Come share oat with me in your robe
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
