Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
