hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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