i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
