He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
