I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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