It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
