Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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