i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize